Honey, I'm 42 and Still Wondering the Same Thing

Overheard: by Jennifer Mendelsohn

At: a Baltimore Party City store

Two college-aged girls buying New Year's Eve supplies.

"So when do we get, like, 'serious?' I wonder when that happens."

Ho Ho Ho! That's The Spirit, Mom!

Overheard: In the Santa Line

By: Nichole Bernier

"I don't know why we bother year after year. All you do is cry. Then you cry that you cried."

Editor's Note: This will one day be the subject of a therapy session. Mark my words.

See, Jimmy's Always Been Tricky That Way...

Overheard: Outside a Sherman Oaks, California school

By: Wendy Liebman

Three year old girl: There's Jimmy!
Mom: I don't see him, honey.
Girl: It's not the visible Jimmy.

Editor's Note: "Visible Jimmy" is totally joining my long list of possible band names, led by the perennial favorite, "Who By Beast."

When It Comes Right Down To It, What Else Is There?

Overheard: in an Austin, TX elevator.

By: Marla Erwin

"All I want to do is watch 30 Rock and eat cheese."

No, See, That's Called Haiku. No, Prose! No, no! It's A Play!

Overheard: at a Hunt Valley, MD card store

By: Greg Abel

20something woman at the customer service counter flipping through a teen romance novel. "I don't like books like this. I like real stories. What do you call that, fiction?"

Not Exactly the Word I'd Use, But...Whatever

Overheard: in a New York City editorial meeting

By: GCP Editor

"But Snooki has, like...culture."

Oh, Honey. It Happens To The Best Of Us

Overheard: on a Los Angeles street corner. Two young women waiting to cross the street.

By: Jason Thompson

"Every time I burp, I taste vodka."

Doh! Everybody Knows That's Stu Sutcliffe

Overheard: at Broadway Pizza in Potomac, Maryland.

By: Alison Buckholtz

Two guys looking at the famous poster of John Lennon in his "New York City" shirt.

"Who is that guy?"

"I think it's John Kennedy or something."

"He must be so old now."

"Yeah, he's like 80 years old."

I Don't Know. Let's Defer to Emily Post

Overheard: in a NYC hotel elevator

Two 20something guys discussing the makeup of a bridal party.

Guy 1: "So I guess her brother has to be in there, too. That's kind of expected, right?"

Guy 2: "Yeah." (Beat.) "Unless you want to piss people off."

Oh, I Remember! They Also Played Moe-Zart

Overheard: at an Austin nail salon

By: Wendi Aarons

Large Texas woman talking to a Vietnamese nail tech: "Oh, this classical music y'all are playin' is Patchy Bell's Canon. It's from my weddin'."

Editor's Note: My brother lived in a Binghamton, NY neighborhood where all the streets were named for composers. One of them was called Bee- (rhymes with see) thoven Street. The h was not silent, either. (Details!)

You Know What? I'm Just Going to Take Your Word For It

Overheard: in a Baltimore diner

"Next time you go to your Dad's house, look at his gun case. You'll see."

Also overheard from same guy: "It would hurt me more to see you get hurt than it would for me to be hit by a bus." (Ed.'s Note: We're calling questionable.)

Well, With Subtle Differences, But Yes

Overheard: by Ed Shahzade

13 year old boy: "So, bras and batteries go by the same system, like A to D's?"

Ed's Note: An appreciative hat tip to Lisa Bonchek Adams for sending this one my way.

Well, Naturally...

Overheard: at a high school reunion

By: Katie Rosman

Anne: "Your hair color is so pretty!"
Rachel: "Thanks, it's really expensive."

Beatrix' Keen Grasp of the Obvious Was Her Most Endearing Trait

Overheard: in South Dakota during annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally Week, which attracts more than 500,000 bikers

By: Julie Kleckley Hummer

A lovely lady with an English accent:"There are so many motorcyles. I wonder if there's an event?"

Physician, Heal Thyself?

Overheard: on the 9:04 N.J. Transit train to New York

By: Bruce Fretts

Breathless overweight man on cell phone: "Hello, yes, I'm on the train...he died two days ago...wait (huff huff), let me get into my seat...it was a blessing..."

Adds Bruce: "Upon further forced eavesdropping, I learned this man is a doctor, it was his father-in-law who died, and he's planning to work from 11-7 today and be reachable via phone while the family sits shiva. Upon turning around, I discovered this was the same obese man who earlier had needed a stranger's help to extricate himself from his too-tight backpack. Oh, doctor!"

Editor's Note: We're wondering if we should just give hand over the blog keys to Bruce, who always seems to find us the best stuff. Or maybe we just need to start riding N.J. Transit more.

Additional Editor's Note: Why do people on cell phones on trains always feel the need to start conversations by stating the fact that they are on trains?

Rule of Thumb: When Hamsters Are Involved, The Story is *Always* Long

Overheard: in Philadelphia.

By: Bill Barol

Lobby security guard: "Kid comes by, he's like, 'Hey, where's my hamster?' I'm like, 'Dude, it's a long story.'"

Shame, Shame

Overheard by Katie Rosman.

"She's a really nice girl. It's not her fault her husband made so much money."

That Darned Spidey Sense Can Be *So* Annoying

Overheard: at a Baltimore playground

By: Jennifer Mendelsohn

Boy of four or five, deadly earnest, to two other kids:

"So, my spidey sense was tingling..."

That's OK. Just Digg It, Then

Overheard: by Claudine Jalajas

Max, 7, (laughing hard): "Oh my God, Annabelle. That was so funny. You should put that on your blog."

Annabelle, 4: "Wha...t?"

Max: "Yeah, I don't really know what that means either."

Yes, Johnny. You'll Also Want to Avoid Putting Sticks in His Eyes

Overheard: at the pool

By: Jennifer Mendelsohn

Distracted father on Blackberry: "Are you pouring water on his head? Well, you want to avoid that, because it makes him scream."

Well, Yes, Generally, That's Where These Things Happen

Overheard: at a Harrisburg, PA cafe

By: Amy Argetsinger

"My brother took his family on frickin' African safari -- IN AFRICA!"

Thanks For Sharing

Overheard: on a NJ Transit Train at 1:11 a.m.

By: Bruce Fretts

Drunk woman: "My hands are always clean. I wash them every time I wipe!"

Also (to her even drunker friend): "We're almost home. We'll be landing in 10 minutes."

Writes Bruce:
Need I add she had a tramp stamp?

I thought not.

They Really Do Say The Darndest Things...

Overheard: in Monterey, Mexico

Daniella, eight, with authority: "I'll handle this."
Douglas, eight: "Don't be a fool."

Why Does This Sound Vaguely Like a Pickup Line?

Overheard: at a party in Charlottesville, Virginia

By: Amy Argetsinger

Four-year-old girl eating a fruit kabob:

"As soon as I finish this strawberry, I'll show you what this dress can do."

Well, Clearly, Given The Options...

Overheard by: Heather Spohr

"I'm OK with looking crazy in pictures, I just don't want to look FAT."

Is This Some Sort of Political Correctness Thing?

Overheard at: A Towson, MD playground

By: Jennifer Mendelsohn

"Now let's play 'Super Senior Citizens!'"

Oh, Honey, Aren't We All?

Overheard: On the 5:52 NJ Transit Train to Newark

By: Bruce Fretts

A twentysomething woman walking through the crowded train car, talking loudly into her cell phone: "I am a magnet for unavailable men!"

Dude! We Can Totally Go Viral!

Overheard: in Raleigh, NC

By: Leslie Gartenberg

Noah (5) encouraging Eli (1): "OK, I've got the camera, now dunk yourself in something."

And The Cat's Name is Betty Crocker

Overheard: At a McLean, Virginia vet's office

By: Kate Rapaczynski Karafotas

Woman: "Yeah, I brought my dog in because he just drank almost a whole box of wine and he's trashed. He can't even walk."
Tech: "What's your last name?"
Woman: "Hines."
Tech: "And the dog's name?"
Woman: "Duncan."

We Get This Mixup A Lot

Overheard: at IKEA Brooklyn

By: Liz Gumbinner

"Which Nefertiti are you talking about? Your cousin or the one from work?"

(This one goes nicely with this one, btw. Ah, the diversity of Brooklyn.)

I Know Somebody Who's Not Getting Any on This Vacation...

Overheard at: Maui resort pool

By: Wendi Aarons

"Oh, honey, that li'l swim skirt ain't foolin' anyone about the size of yo' big ass."

We Wonder What They Talk About at Thanksgiving

Overheard at Mother's Day brunch.
By: Susan Orlean

"I like your boyfriend!"

"Yeah, well, he's married. My dad fixed us up."

He's the Mayor of that Slide on Foursquare

Overheard: by Matt Mendelsohn at a DC-area playground

Child slides down slide, then turns to his mother:

"Mom, are you going to put that on Facebook, what I just did?"

No Decaf. But Iced Coffee is Fine.

Overheard: at Starbucks in Boston's Theater District

By: Delia Cabe

Guy: I'd like a decaf tall.
Barista: No coffee because of boil order.
Guy: Decaf, too?

But How Does He Feel About Liza?

Overheard: in a Richmond, Virginia restaurant

Man orders a mai tai, woman companion orders a beer.

She then felt compelled to tell the waitress, "He's not gay."

And Next Week in High School Health Class...

Overheard: Through a wall in St. Paul, MN

By: Alexa Stevenson

Teenager: “WHY CAN’T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE! IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU! IT’S NOT YOUR PICTURE! IT’S NOT YOUR GRADUATION!”

And…door slam!

Step Into Applebee's and It's Curtains for the Right One

Overheard: in Austin, Texas

By: Allison Wright

"Honey, I would rather lose my left testicle than eat at the Olive Garden."

Don't Tell Snooki

Overheard on the street, from a fighting couple:

Man: "I guess you picked the wrong night to not be in New Jersey."

Um, Mom? Can't You See I'm Talking to Hudson and Sterling?

Overheard: in Cobble Hill, Brooklyn

"Dashiell, say goodbye to Porter!"

Can Health Care Reform Fix This?

Overheard: At the doctor's office

By: Lisa Bonchek Adams

Woman in front of me at blood draw is asked for her doctor's name.

"Smith," she says.

Tech: "First name?"

Woman: "Doctor."

Maybe It's Time for "Disney on Ice," Then

Overheard at: Disney's Animal Kingdom

By: Matt Mendelsohn

"I don't wannnnnnna go to Africa. It's tooooooo hot there."

And Her Favorite Food is...Yellow!

Overheard: At preschool

By: Sara Doty Kamholz

Teacher: What's your favorite color?

Child: Cheese!

Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee...

Overheard: At Penn Station pizza place 9:15 p.m.

By: Bruce Fretts

Woman: I work in licensing with Muhammad Ali, which is pretty cool. He's kind of a badass.

Man: Well, not anymore...

Woman: Yeah, the Parkinson's doesn't really work with the brand.

Like, OMG! Zach! He's, Like, TOTALLY CRAZY!

Overheard: On the 12:34 a.m. NJ Transit Train from Penn Station to Dover

By: Bruce Fretts

Seton Hall sorority girl: "Guess who crashed our formal last night? Zach. I was like, 'Who are you here with?' and he was like, 'Nobody.'"

Well, That Typically Depends on the Occasion

Overheard at: Old Navy

By: Lisa Bonchek Adams (Ringing our ceremonial bell for our first repeat contributor!

"Do you want to buy the ones that fit or the ones that don't?"

Pssst! Mom! Santa's a Fake, Too

Earth Day, part II

Overheard: In coffee shop line, during thunderstorm. (Again with the coffee shops!)

By: Marilyn Pollack Naron

Mom to little boy: "Mother Nature is crying on Earth Day."

Boy: "I think it's just raining."

Doh! And I Forgot to Send a Card!

Overheard: In Starbucks (I'm sensing a theme here, btw.)

By: Jodi Sternoff Cohen

4 year old boy: "Mommy, tomorrow's a big holiday. It's Earth Day."

She Was Afraid to Turn Around

Overheard: on the bus today.

By: Katie Anderson

The man behind me said, "Ahh, nothing like sending a good naked tweet."

Hard to Say Who's Qualified to Make a Ruling Here

Overheard at: Starbucks last Sunday

By: Lisa Bonchek Adams

One old man to another old man: "Do I look like a sugar daddy?"

(BTW, three postings since we started last night and two of them are conversations between old men? What gives here?)

And You're One to Talk?

Overheard: On the Avenue in Hampden, Baltimore city.

Tank-top clad full-on hon, shrieking: "Oh yeah?! Well that's why you can't KEEP A MAN!"

Our very first official entry

Overheard at: The library

By: Jana Chapman Gates

Two elderly men, sitting side-by-side in overstuffed chairs:

"She was the best bartender ever."

"And then what happened?"

"She just dropped dead."

Introducing...

Ten years ago I had what I thought was a great idea: a book of overheard conversation. Just funny snippets of things overheard on planes and in elevators and bars and from passersby on the street. I pictured it as one of those little stocking stuffer gift books, the kind you find in the front of the bookstore, next to those compilations of inspirational quotes about sisters and cats. I remember telling my husband about it on one of our first dates. You know, to show him how cool I was and all.

My agent at the time was meh, at best. So I promptly forgot all about it. Married the husband. Had two kids and all that.

But leave it to Twitter, right?

This weekend Paul Campanella posted two gems he overheard in Concourse D of the Atlanta airport: "I love me some damn babies," and "My parents' house in New Jersey is 56,000 sq feet."

And then today, Judy Clement Wall chimed in with something she'd overheard: "My life is the bastard child of Groundhog Day and Kafka."

In journalism, we like to say that three things make a trend. So this, my friends, is a trend. And, because it's 2010, what else does one do, but start a blog?

So welcome to "Overheard..." You can share any gems you hear with me at ioverheardit@gmail.com. And tell me where you heard it and, if you like, your name and website.

Can't wait to hear what you've heard.