Well, Clearly, Given The Options...

Overheard by: Heather Spohr

"I'm OK with looking crazy in pictures, I just don't want to look FAT."

Is This Some Sort of Political Correctness Thing?

Overheard at: A Towson, MD playground

By: Jennifer Mendelsohn

"Now let's play 'Super Senior Citizens!'"

Oh, Honey, Aren't We All?

Overheard: On the 5:52 NJ Transit Train to Newark

By: Bruce Fretts

A twentysomething woman walking through the crowded train car, talking loudly into her cell phone: "I am a magnet for unavailable men!"

Dude! We Can Totally Go Viral!

Overheard: in Raleigh, NC

By: Leslie Gartenberg

Noah (5) encouraging Eli (1): "OK, I've got the camera, now dunk yourself in something."

And The Cat's Name is Betty Crocker

Overheard: At a McLean, Virginia vet's office

By: Kate Rapaczynski Karafotas

Woman: "Yeah, I brought my dog in because he just drank almost a whole box of wine and he's trashed. He can't even walk."
Tech: "What's your last name?"
Woman: "Hines."
Tech: "And the dog's name?"
Woman: "Duncan."

We Get This Mixup A Lot

Overheard: at IKEA Brooklyn

By: Liz Gumbinner

"Which Nefertiti are you talking about? Your cousin or the one from work?"

(This one goes nicely with this one, btw. Ah, the diversity of Brooklyn.)

I Know Somebody Who's Not Getting Any on This Vacation...

Overheard at: Maui resort pool

By: Wendi Aarons

"Oh, honey, that li'l swim skirt ain't foolin' anyone about the size of yo' big ass."

We Wonder What They Talk About at Thanksgiving

Overheard at Mother's Day brunch.
By: Susan Orlean

"I like your boyfriend!"

"Yeah, well, he's married. My dad fixed us up."

He's the Mayor of that Slide on Foursquare

Overheard: by Matt Mendelsohn at a DC-area playground

Child slides down slide, then turns to his mother:

"Mom, are you going to put that on Facebook, what I just did?"

No Decaf. But Iced Coffee is Fine.

Overheard: at Starbucks in Boston's Theater District

By: Delia Cabe

Guy: I'd like a decaf tall.
Barista: No coffee because of boil order.
Guy: Decaf, too?

But How Does He Feel About Liza?

Overheard: in a Richmond, Virginia restaurant

Man orders a mai tai, woman companion orders a beer.

She then felt compelled to tell the waitress, "He's not gay."

And Next Week in High School Health Class...

Overheard: Through a wall in St. Paul, MN

By: Alexa Stevenson

Teenager: “WHY CAN’T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE! IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU! IT’S NOT YOUR PICTURE! IT’S NOT YOUR GRADUATION!”

And…door slam!

Step Into Applebee's and It's Curtains for the Right One

Overheard: in Austin, Texas

By: Allison Wright

"Honey, I would rather lose my left testicle than eat at the Olive Garden."